i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize