i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think your dad took our porno
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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