the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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