Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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