You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you inspire me to be a worse person
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
