she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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