Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
