those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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