she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
