all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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