i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
