and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
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the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
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I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
this is an emotional support booty call
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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