Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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