I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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