i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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