Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you traded sex for a burrito?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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