somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Randomize
