i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Will exercising make me less horny?
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