Sponge bath it is.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
