You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
