No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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