while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
