maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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