can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There r osticjed everywhere
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
