He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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