got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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