wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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