Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
