So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
