Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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