I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
