i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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