Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
