I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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