Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
