You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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