How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
