i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
