Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
