The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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