yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
