he puts the penis in happiness.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
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her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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