before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
