I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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