1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
