So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
