I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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