you're like a bully in the Christmas story
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
