They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
