you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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