I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
