So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
