I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
