So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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