She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Randomize
