i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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