it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
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Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
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After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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