I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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