Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
