I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
