i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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